Journey

 I think I'm nearly in the edge of writing on this blog.

The very first reason, the one, the sweetest walking memories of mine finally found her forever home. And turns out, I was invited haha. I took it very personal and going alone, although there's old friends in the way.

Bali probably one of the destination I never thought I would go alone or even have short trip, never cross my mind to visit here in the last 7 or 8 years. But then it happens, she invited me to her biggest event, the promise I made long time ago. And honestly I'm not in a 'financially ready' position to have this kind of trip but then some things happen, I got all the money to provide single trip for myself haha. Maybe the universe force me to fulfill this long-time promise?

I was very nervous. I have to met her parents which push me away and forced us to broke up back then, I have to sit around people whose ignored me for years, damaged my mental for years. 

When I really think about it, ignorance was the main reason why I have to choose to be someone else these past years, I have to made up my 'bad' personality, just to prove that I could live without them but deep inside, these people, these environment was my safest place. I love her and everyone around her, my sweetest society and memories. 

But shockingly, everything turns out fine. Thanks to old friend Dega Wardhana, I could walk in as my true self. I met a lot of people which last week I still think that they hated me so hard that I chose not to know anything about them. I went drinking with two girls whose shockingly knew me a lot from 'her' and accept me for who I am now, also lots of old friends which warmly welcome me. 

After years of hiding behind the shadows, I showed up to everyone. As a better person, not as a jerk and fail person. I finally could say that I'm in the position which I could be proud of. 

 

The ceremony turns out majestic. I could see every single thing that she dreamed of to be happen on her marriage. Finally I could see this lucky guy, seems very fine and I could assure everyone who read this, he is the one. He's bright, funny and has this positive energy to keep her sanity. I just could not imagine any other guy to be on his position.

Last but not least, I think I found my second wind, other chance to feel more alive. Their positive energy just filled me up, once again.

I just want to thank everyone, for your acceptance. You all never know how hard it was to be someone else, to be person you all hate, to be the only villain in this story. I want to give my greatest gratitude to God, Cindy, her parents and friends which welcomed me after these years.

I love this trip and every single people in this journey.